20 May, 2008

Re: Senate Republican Conference on U.S. Energy Policy

Haven't simultaneously watched C-Span and recorded my reaction in a while, so here we go:

Sen. Lisa Murkowski (AK) rattles off about smarter technology for oil extraction, and that since we know how to use it, nothing can go wrong (by this logic, everyone gets their driver's license, therefore, there should be no car accidents).

Sen. Kyl (AZ) grins like a lustful carnie.

Sen. Wicker (MS) talks to slow. I think he just finshed a sentence, but he sounds confused - and he's reading off of notes! But he is able to stutter out the question of "What are... do we... have any facts about oil spills?" Yeah, unless I've got some cold hard charts in front of me, a duck dipped in oil looks fine to me.

Sen. Allard (CO) is a tool.

Sen. Warner (VA) thankfully does make the point that the biggest government usage of fuel comes from the Dept. of Defense.

omg. Sen. Stevens (AK) is their first speaker. He sounds as stuttery and fumbly-bumbly as he did when talking about the Internets as a Series of Tubes. It's pretty much incomprehensible. I am hearing some Clinton-bashing, some dates, and more stuttering (nothing against anyone with speech impediments; everything against narrow-minded, curmudgeonly senators). Haha. He just tried to make the point that investments in renewable resources can't even come about without ANWAR drilling revenues! Please, go on. I am totally believing you...

Sen. Sessions (AL) rests his head on his hand like he's drunk.

In response to Session's question, Stevens confuses the impact that ANWAR oil production would have on gas prices versus the real effects that Saudi Arabian oil production has on prices.

Sen. Domenici (NM) is now calling not drilling in ANWAR "wrong" and blames Democrats.
He is the second senator to mention the bike/car binary (As in, "I don't think we can all just stop using cars and start riding bikes!" - which, btw, NO ONE is suggesting).
Domenici and Stevens start to stroke each others' balding heads over the suggestion that ANWAR can produce more oil than previously believed, thanks to the record price per barrel.

Stevens is now bitching like a little baby, comparing the 70 permits needed to start oil production in ANWAR, versus the lack of regulation in Russia and Norway. Awww... then why don't you go ahead and run for Senator of Russia?

Oh man, Stevens is again cursing over Clinton's veto of some related bill in 1995. I can't take anymore. If Stevens was my grandpa, I would never visit him. There's no reason I need to watch anymore. These Republicans are boring. Going to bed.